


An Instance of Good Fortune

by PinkAfroPuffs



Series: Cowardly Kings, Forgotten Heroes [1]
Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Meetings, References to Depression, Spoilers I guess?, Stress Relief, there aren't any but they are alluded to.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 03:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkAfroPuffs/pseuds/PinkAfroPuffs
Summary: Change is good. Even when it's not.On occasion, disaster can bring the strangest of blessings- though blessings are often cleverly disguised.





	An Instance of Good Fortune

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about doing commissions. In a serious way, I mean. Roman's anxiety is kinda affecting me! There's things to do and not enough time to do them! 
> 
> So. If anyone's interested in a commission- concerning fate, a character or two and maybe your personal Master- contact me on tumblr. I'd like to know if anyone's interested before I start working out prices.
> 
> By the way, I WILL still be writing THESE fanfics for free. Because, well. They're for me, you see! :) Have a nice day everyone!

Every day is the same for Ifumi Rockwell.

She is tired when the mail comes; she is tired before then, and for the remainder of the evening afterwards, but the mail brings news of unpaid debt, of college tuition she isn’t allowed to pay. There is no job that will hire her because she has no degree; to finish her degree, she must get a job. There is no end to the cycle; past minimum wage that barely covers rent in her parent’s house, Ifumi is stuck doing nothing, day in and day out, over and over again. 

This is her fault. Had she not suffered a mental break the fall term of her second year, had she not considered an improper end for herself, she would have graduated already. But she hadn’t. And she was stuck. 

_ Overdue payment. _She knew. They came every day, along with the calls, and all she could do was stare at the phone and not answer them. What was she to say this time? The same as every time; “I don’t have any money. I have fifty dollars to my name. I don’t know how to make payments that way.”

She was tired. A more healthy mental state meant that being tired didn’t mean the _ end _ anymore, but sometimes, it felt damn close. 

The post had come late that morning, after she’d finished vacuuming the place while her family was gone- they _ were _ letting her stay at home for fifty bucks a month, after all, she’d might as well do all the chores when they couldn’t- and she did what she always did. She thanked the postwoman and sorted them.

Bill. “Mom.” Bill. “Mom.” Military propaganda-

She threw that one in the trash. 

The next was addressed to her. At first she thought it was another credit card asking her to make an account with the lender, but instead it was from her college. She took a deep breath. She’d have to call them again soon. They’d threatened to take her off of the “Student” list, and if that happened, at least three more loan companies would be after her, thinking she was a dropout. Tentatively, she opened it.

Curious. It was definitely from the school, but wasn’t about debt at all. Instead it said, 

“Congratulations, you have been chosen for a special internship with the Chaldea Security Organization?” She leaned back against the kitchen counter and re-checked the seal on the front of the envelope. Hm. It seemed legitimate; the script from the envelope matched the one on her school I.D….

_ Congratulations! You have been chosen for a special internship with the Chaldea Security Organization, via your financial aid and study abroad status. _

_ Due to our latest welfare options, you are eligible for- _

She closed her eyes.

_ -for an exclusive internship. After completing six months, you may resume regular classes on campus. All expenses are paid for*, as long as you contact your financial aid and bursar office to inform them of your decision. _

_ *Passport Required. The school is unable to cover any fees regarding passports, luggage charges over 50lbs, and seat changes prior to flight take off. _

Scam. This was definitely a scam. But….

What exactly did she have to lose in asking? She took a deep breath and grabbed the phone, carefully dialing the number and comparing it to the one on her financial aid statement. Three minutes was all it took; three minutes to verify the statement as true, to give her a line to the offices to accept, to tell her she was going out of the country-

And to Antarctica. No wonder they’d told her they’d foot the bill. Of all places, her black ass was going to the coldest place on the planet. What would her parents think?

...what did it matter?! This was such a boon, the chance of a lifetime…! And basically working off a school bill in six months! For what? To study abroad? That was what she’d wanted! Besides, she was twenty-four. She could do whatever she wanted, feasibly. 

….feasibly. Alone in Antarctica….

The very thought makes her cold. Regardless, it feels like a sign, so she tells them she’ll do it before her parents can try to coax her into saying no.

* * *

They’d given her a new set of clothes. After persuading her parents not to worry about her and assuring them that her school debts will be cleared- getting her degree was important, after all- the plane and car rides seem uneventful. It’s a little scary, not knowing anyone, but inside of Chaldea, there are tons of people, some dressed in the same manner as she is, in white and black uniforms that remind her a little of her Catholic high school six or so years ago. 

Meeting Mash was one thing; Ifumi immediately took a liking to her over the other interns in her group, endearing herself to the young woman as an elder sister- after all, Mash couldn’t be older than sixteen, younger than her own sisters- but…

Why did the air feel so strange? Like something was off. Like something bad was going to happen? Even in finding she’d been given her own room (which was _ crazy _ awesome, after having to share a room at her parents’ house and in dorms both), the stale chill in the air, the brief whisper of something _ off _ bothered her. Then again, this _ was _ a new environment. There was going to be some unrest-

Well. She’d think about it later. For now, she needed to set up her room, some. After all, if this was going to be “home” for the next six months or so, she needed to get used to it fast. Especially because she was working here, now. Out of caution- or maybe habit- she knocked on the door like she would a bathroom stall before opening it, knowing that no one would ans-

“Come in! The door is open!”

She paused. For what felt like a very long time, she just stared at the closed door, eyes so wide they nearly popped out of her head. Then she checked the room number. And her key. And then she said, “It better not be!”

She took in a deep breath of air and squared her shoulders. If they were going to have a problem, she was going to be ready for it! In fact, as she opened the door, she said, “Excuse me,” in a voice that was a bit too loud for herself, “are you in the wrong place!”

The hot air flew out of her when she saw that the figure sitting on the couch- with a laptop in front of him- was a person-shaped ball wrapped in a blanket. He took a moment too long to notice her looking at him- and taking in how cute he looked wrapped up like a snail- before he jumped up and cried, “Wha- Who! Who are you!”

Ifumi couldn’t quite find it in her to speak. When she did, what came out was, “My room…” in a very soft, pleading voice. 

The man stared at her, mouth agape as he took in the words, shoulders slowly relaxing. “Your room…?” 

She nods, then holds up the key. “I didn’t know there was more than one?”

“...ah. You must be her, huh. The final team member…” He muses. “Well, in that case, I’d better introduce myself.” 

He didn’t have to, actually. She was already feeling a little flustered about this whole situation. Who’d’ve thunk a handsome man would be squatting in her room? The day just got stranger and stranger. “A-Actually-” She held up her hands. “I think. I think I should uhm. Wait for introductions after I. Get set up some?” She rubbed her arm. This was so…! So…!

“Oh! I’m so sorry, you’re right, I’ll see you later, then, won’t I?” He smiled, then, as though he remembered, he said, “Oh, right my stuff!” before grabbing his laptop, blanket and snacks, and gave her a little privacy. 

* * *

She didn’t really get his name before the explosion. She should have. He was quite capable, after all, guiding her through all of the craziness that had followed. As she stared down into her nearly empty coffee cup, she considered any details that might mean things to her, things about this entire ordeal, about that man, about Mash, about Lev. Absentmindedly, she swirled what was left of the liquid around in her cup.

She’d almost died.

Olga Marie had died. A large portion of the staff had died. A whole room full of “interns”- if they were all really interns- had either died or disappeared. Only she was left. And only she had learned the hard way what Masters and Servants were.

Of course this was dangerous. Of course she’d qualified for _ this _. She wondered, if she’d done the job four years ago in her college dorm, if she’d rolled off the lofted bed and hit her head just right, or taken those pills, would she be here? If she’d tried and failed, would that be better? Or if she’d tried and succeeded?

“Oh-”

There’s a presence near her. She wonders if it’s a human person or one of the Servants she was given to aid her, the ones she summoned haphazardly to help Mash. She’s too tired to try moving completely out of the way. Instead she looks up.

“Ms. Rock….well?” She realizes he’s probably only remembering her work number, or maybe isn’t sure he can say her first name in this situation. They didn’t get to do introductions, after all. That was her fault. “Oh, the...coffee is-” He’s holding an empty cup.

Her eyes flicker to the full carafe, and her brain starts working again. “Oh. Right, sorry.”

“No, no, I-” He holds both hands up, cup still in hand. “I noticed you...well it-” He tries again, his smile noticeably more open, “How are you feeling?”

Her eyebrows go up. When she tilts her head to look up at him, he seems familiar. It takes two moments to take in the strawberry blonde of his hair and the youthful frame of his face. He’s wearing a medical uniform- her father used to be a nurse, so the tag on his person catches her eye first- and though his green eyes seem bright and alert when he looks at her, she can see the bags underneath them under the fluorescent lighting. His hair’s really pretty besides, as it’s long enough to be pulled up in a high ponytail, and the kind of red she’d only seen in movies or in magazines. “...I’m…” She squints at him a bit. “...you’re the man who was on the comms. The one squatting in my room-” What was his name again? Unwittingly, she cast a gaze to the nametag. “Dr. Archaman?”

“Ah-” He sort of waves his hand to stop her, his eyes closing a bit in embarrassment. “Everyone calls me Roman, so that’s fine instead.” He doesn’t seem offended that she didn’t remember his name. It would relieve her if she was thinking straight.

She stares at him a little bit, her brain working its way around the emptiness in her gut so that she can respond. “Really? You went to school for all those years and you don’t even want me to call you ‘Doctor’?”

This earns a laugh from him, albeit a slightly uncomfortable one. She wonders if he’s naturally a nervous person, or if she’s making him nervous by being partially despondent. Both are valid. “I’ve never been much for titles,” he admits. “It’s been a rough week, besides. I wanted to know how you were doing, Ms-”

“Ifumi.” She told him.

“Ms. Ifumi,” he nods, and then she shakes her head.

“No, just Ifumi!” For some reason it makes her laugh. She hasn’t laughed in a bit now, and it feels...new. Different. “I’m…” Could she really say she was fine? A rush of energy burns through that empty part in her stomach, and out of the blue, she says, “Hey, you ever just feel like you need to scream?”

The question catches him off guard. “Huh?”

“Scream. Like you just need to scream.” Ah, she gets it now. It’s _ stress _ . The entire situation has all just become _ stress _, and there’s nowhere for it to go but out. “At the top of your lungs, to let the air out.”

His mouth opens and then closes. “I-I’ve never-” He backtracks. “Yes? I guess so, but-”

“Cover your ears, I’m going to scream,” she says, and she knows she’s partially out of her head and probably seems like a crazy person, but he does so, gloved hands rising slowly to covers his ears. 

Then she screams. Or, screeches, she supposes. It was hard to tell over her racing heart, the clench of her fists, the _ adrenaline _ coursing through her body. It embarrassed her, though. She’d never done it in a room with a person inside with her, always walking into her parent’s garage and screaming at the top of her lungs when life became too difficult. Somehow it’s _ better _ this way, because tears prickle at her eyes when the hot air leaves, like some of the stress really has vanished into thin air. 

Then she laughs. Or cries. She can’t tell, leaning against the counter for support. “...whew.” Casually, she steals a glance at Dr. Roman, whose hands haven’t left his ears; strangely enough, his gaze doesn’t feel judgemental so much as-

It’s hard to put her finger on. Awe? Like he’s seen something new. It puts her off, some, and she turns her head. “That was pretty great.” She clears her throat. “I mean, it’s great for stress,” she hastily adds. “You seem the nervous type, why don’t you scream too?”

His eyes widen and his mouth opens just slightly. She’s gotta be laying this on a bit too thick, trying to convince someone else- no, trying to convince _ herself _ that she’s _ alright _ , that she’s _ strong _, that she’s-

Alive.

“We’re alive.” She says aloud. “So it’s good to scream.”

He doesn’t follow suit, though he does give her the softest of smiles; she knows he feels sorry for her, and that’s fine. She can handle it. She’s handled this kind of thing before. 

“I think I’m not fine,” she admitted. “But I’ll be okay.” 

He opened his mouth again, though this time he found the words to speak to her properly; once he’d set down the coffee cup, he said, “We do have services for issues like that, Ifumi.”

She nodded a little bit. “That’s good. But I’m going to do this my own way first. If that’s okay.”

“Oh, no, no, of course that’s-” He’s rubbing the back of his neck, eyes roaming the ground and anywhere but her face when he says this, and she wonders exactly what he’s thinking right now. Maybe that she sounds foolish. That’s fine. Better to be a cheerful fool at the end of the world than an unhappy genius. “It’s your choice. But you _ are _ the only Master we have, now. You have to take care of yourself.”

“...you too,” she said, albeit unthinkingly. It’s only been three days, and he has the aura of a college student during finals week. 

He gives her a little laugh and waves his hand. “Thanks.”

She takes a glance back at the coffee pot before she shakes her head and moves to the side. “I...think it might be better to go take a nap or something. Sorry. And...thank you,” she sort of inclines her head at him and moves out of his way. “I’ll see you around, since we’ll be working together now.”

“See you later,” he agrees with a smile, and she hastily makes her way to her own room.

* * *

Strange. When the room is empty enough for him to think in, he hesitates to pour himself another cup of coffee. His fingers rap against the countertop as he thinks about it, eyes cast to the ceiling, mulling over the young Master’s words.

_ “Hey, you ever feel like you just need to scream?” _

Always. He always wanted to scream. But he reined it in on purpose. He didn’t have the right to scream. Anything and everything that was going wrong was his fault. 

But…

No, no. _ Screaming _ wouldn’t fix _ this _, the weird, black hole in his heart that would never close. It wouldn’t bring back all of those lives lost in the accident, either. As acting commander, he needed to-

….he needed to-

_ “We’re alive. It’s good to scream.” _

He didn’t know you could just _ do that _ . You could really feel something so _ strongly _ that it burst from you, like vomit? Like a burp or...or something like that? He didn’t know you could just _ do _ it, that you were _ allowed _-

Without thinking too much about it, he covered his mouth, gloved hands stifling any sounds, and screamed into the fabric. A puff of air. He took a deep breath, thinking about it, considering, savoring, _ memorizing _ how liberating it felt, and then he pressed his hands to his mouth and screamed again. 

Yeah. She was right. He was alive. And that meant he had to scream. That was part of being human, right? But that sort of luxury was too far away from him. That wish had been-

Anxiety prickled at his neck. He could feel it crawling up his back, pushing against his senses, pulling at his hair; closer now. Warmer. Like blazing suns shrieking as they go out, prickling like needles against his skin, hands grasping for something, anything, coming for him, no, for _ them _-

….he didn’t have time to scream. He didn’t have _ time- _

He didn’t have time. 

Roman poured himself another cup of coffee, black this time, and reached into the cabinet for some sugar. Tomorrow, he would work even harder. Tomorrow they would lose even less people. Tomorrow he might scream again. But only a little. That was enough, after all. For a fool like him, who’d asked for this.

He needed to keep going. 

But that was tomorrow. For now, he had some time. For now, his eyes rimmed with sadness, his gut filled with emptiness, and his gloves filled with screams. Tomorrow. He’d do it better tomorrow. 

* * *

When morning light came, Roman was already awake. Or, when he supposed morning light was supposed to come. The landscape was beautiful as it was, but snowy and constantly overcast; even from the biggest windows, the sun seemed blocked out, its light snuffed out over the ever expanding horizon, and it was hard to tell when morning was without clocks. 

Regardless, he went to check on Mash, as per usual. He’d made a sort of ritual out of it, careful to wake her at the same times each day, so that her body- however weak it might be- could at least stay healthy and give her some semblance of routine that included human contact. The latter wasn’t as much of a problem now, what with her interactions with the staff- whoever was left, he thought with a shudder- and being Ifumi’s Demi-Servant meant that they would be spending a lot of time together. 

….truthfully. These visits were more for him. But he didn’t say that. Someday, maybe. But today wasn’t a good time. Actually, he should check on the young Master, too. After all, screaming didn’t really do much past some immediate relief-

“Oh, Dr. Roman. Good morning.”

He was so caught off guard by the greeting that he nearly dropped the folder he was holding. Except for he and two other members of the staff, no one was awake this early- or, supposed to be, really- so hearing Ifumi’s voice right after he’d been thinking about her threw him for a loop. “Wha- Oh, Ifumi! You’re an early riser! I was just about to get Mash and you up to start training some-”

“Oh, really?” Her eyebrows went up. Though the lines around her eyes seemed a mite swollen, she looked rather ready for the day. “I was just snooping around. Since we’re going to be time travelling and everything, I thought I’d brush up on some information, get used to the facility.” Sure enough, she was cradling a stack of books in her arms, making her small frame look even smaller next to him. “Hey, do you know where I can find some Mystic Codes that are a little bigger around the top half? This one is a little too small, and the others don’t fit the rest of me.”

The question sort of took him by surprise, but he thought he masked it quite well, despite giving her a once over when she said so. “No, er, well, I can look into it, that should be simple.” But…

“Did you sleep well?” 

He maybe shouldn’t have asked. But for some reason it was bothering him, some. This was day two, after all. She shouldn’t be acting this way. Especially after last night’s conversation. Then again, what was the alternative?

Ifumi blinked at him. Then, after a moment, she replied, “Did you?”

He hadn’t. Or, if he had, he didn’t remember it. “That’s...that’s not the question I’m asking!”

“It’s the one I’m asking,” she shrugged. “Besides, I just...I dunno. Rather be over-prepared than under prepared. Anyway, you said something about training?”

“Right, we have the simulator set up and ready to go, after we do a few adjustments for yours and Mash’s abili- Oh my god!” He shouted. “I forgot Mash!”

“...erm. You didn’t really-”

“No time!” He checked his watch. “Have to wake her at the same time each day!”

Unwittingly, Ifumi followed him. “You do?”

“Circadian rhythm,” he replied without thinking. 

“Doesn’t she have an alarm clock?”

“No,” he started, “...well, yes, I’m sure she does, but I like doing it myself- Wait! Why are you asking…!”

“I was curious, you seem flustered.” She insisted. “And your legs are way longer than mine, slow down!”

“You should head to the training room,” he reminded her gently. “I’ll be back with Mash in a moment-” Ah. Wait. He was acting director, so he couldn’t just go to wake her like this anymore, could he? A pause. His walking speed slowed to a complete stop as he considered it, then turned to the young Master. “...actually,” he said, rather quietly, “could you wake Mash for me? You’ll be working together from now on, after all.”

“Sure,” she smiled, pressing her hands together under her books. “I was waiting for you to ask, acting doctor!” Then, in a more flustered manner, she stuttered, “Director! I meant acting director!”

He wanted very badly not to find her slip-up at least a _ little _ funny, so he turned his head to be polite, throwing in a cough for extra measure. “Ahem. Right, okay, I’ll- I’ll be waiting in the simulation room! And be quick! I’ll need you both in the next hour!” DaVinci wouldn’t have too many problems with anything in that time, right? Then again, she wasn’t one to have much trouble with anything, given how often she called herself a genius- although it wasn’t altogether unwarranted. 

“I’ll see you then, Doctor!” She called after him. “And-”

He stopped, unsure of what she might add. “Hm?”

“...thanks. For yesterday.” She said. “And I guess we’re friends now,” she gestured, turning away from him. “Because I don’t cry in front of strangers.”

Then she sprinted off to get Mash.

What a mystifying thing to say! That was- Well, that was…

...fair enough, right? 

He shook his head. “Friends, huh.” Crazy! This whole week just got crazier and crazier! 

_ “Romani, you’re needed in the command room. Immediately!” _ Came Leonardo's chipper voice over the intercom, and almost immediately after, an alarm started blaring. 

“Oh boy,” there was no time to waste on any of that. He had work to do _ now _, after all. Anything else came later. Besides, he didn’t have time to think about friends or companionship as he was sprinting down the hall, and even less when he realized they’d already found a Singularity. Time wouldn’t wait for frivolous things, after all. 

Time…

Well. Maybe time would be kinder to him this time around. After all, Chaldea was a means to traverse it, make it an ally. Maybe he’d make a friend out of it, too.


End file.
